Expectations of yourself matter!!!

A week or 2 ago, Vera Chen, whom I am mentoring in Beijing noted that life is undesignable though we think we are designing our lives. She also noted that one needs to walk through life and make decisions--good or bad--and get to know life better. She asked me if I believed that when people lower their expectations on life, they are more happy. I replied with the following:

"I think we lower and raise our expectations of life each day. When successful we raise them. When we meet famous people, we raise them. When we think about unique opportunities, we raise them. When we get positive feedback or recognition, we raise them. And there are more times when we lower them."

While expecations others have of you are key to your growth in life, perhaps even more important is your internal system of expectations, your volition, your passion, and your goals. Do not let others steal that away from you. As Bandura said, it is self-efficacy and self-confidence that matter. Expectations of yourself really determine your potential. So, the higher the role models available the better. That is why people in academia want to work with smart people. That is why some search for think tanks to work in. That is why exclusive conferences or institutes are things that people glow about. That is why high schools and universities are selective. It is hard to have the highest goals and expectations without the guideposts and the models in one's life. We all need that. Now that I have full professor status, I can try to be a little light for some graduate students who want to move into academia or corporate world.

I also told Vera to have a vision or reflection of where she wants to do. She is in educational technology but seeks interdisciplinary activities. I told her to write a major reflection or blog post and to revisit it in 6 months, 12 months, 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. I thought that it each time she might change it and reshape it each time or expand on it in totally different ways. She is at the start of a master's at Peking University. She, like most graduate students (and many faculty members or instructors) need to ask themselves life questions in order to begin to vision where they want to be and to create some goals and visions. With the world in fast change in education and technology fields, we alll have many opportunities in front of us right now and some ending goals will help you sort out some of things to attend to.

What do you think?